4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
