Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
