Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
