i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i think i just lost a toe
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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