Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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