so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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