K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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