Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
