About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he fucked my hip out of place.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
