Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
