i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
