I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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