Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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