Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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