we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
