Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
