Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
