It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
