Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif