Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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