youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize