Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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