I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize