Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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