hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize