I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
