I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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