How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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