my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
