i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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