remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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