Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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