We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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