In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
