We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Randomize
