I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
