we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize