Your tits are I can't wait for
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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