Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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