JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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