I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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