Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
