Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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