How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
