Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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