i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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