Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
