i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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