small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
