the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
