you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
