Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I sprained my soul last night
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
