There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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