Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
