my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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