i may or may not be watching the land before time
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
