a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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