Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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