two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
