Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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