YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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